Today my post almost got derailed by blogger's new live photo slide show they have. You can click on it and see any photo that's been published on a public site, just scrolling by. It was awesome and I had to shake my head like a puppy to wake up from the stupor I was falling into.
Anyway, today I had hoped to continue with some Book-o-Mormon stuff, but TB didn't clean his room as I asked earlier and I sent him up to finish, and he just ran out of time for us to get into any. It's his turn to read. So I decided that for once, I'd pull out my Gospel Principals manual and go through the lesson way in advance. The weeks just fly by so quickly for that that it's like I come home from Sacrament meeting, go to sleep, wake up and it's Wednesday, and then I wake up and it's Saturday again and I haven't had a chance to even crack the book to look at the lesson.
Well, today I got it out and went over it. Chapter 36, families are eternal (if anyone wants to review it). So, I read over it and what jumped out to me was the section where it says that we are given families here on Earth to show how we'll treat them, and to learn all that we need to know to be heavenly parents. Now, I remember reading before about being basically loaned a family to see how we'll treat them and if we're faithful, and we're sealed in the Temple, then our families will become ours forever. I guess I didn't catch the part about learning to be heavenly parents. Nor did I catch the part where we're commanded to marry and have children so that we can help Heavenly Father carry out his mission in bringing souls to Earth so that we can each work out our salvations.
What's funny about this is that when I first joined the church and was a single mother with one child, I thought that I would always have just the one, and be the only Mormon in history to only have one child, voluntarily. Well, then I got married several years later to the father of that child and we were married for about a year and a half when the method of birth control I had been, until then, successfully using suddenly gave out on me and we found ourselves expecting BB. I wasn't really happy about it, and neither was he considering that he had lost his job only weeks before. (As if he didn't have enough pressure.) And so with time I came to accept the coming change, and even embrace it. I saw it for the blessing that it was. I saw Heavenly Fathers hand in this. After 18 months without incident I now was expecting a child. This time around I was married to a man who I loved very much, and had a child old enough to help around the house. I had a huge amount of support both from friends and from family (biological and LDS). I had a job with great benefits. It was all falling into place, and it was a chance for my husband and I to finally experience the joys of pregnancy and parenthood in a way that we had been cheated of the first time, or rather, had cheated ourselves of. It was a healing experience and this little boy has served to bring our family much closer to each other and to the Lord.
When I had TB, I felt the draw to find a church and teach him about God. He is what lead me to the path that I'm on now. But since I had BB, I realized that I needed to do more, be more active and a better missionary example to my own family and not just strangers. I needed to get to the temple, and since I went (March 18th 2007) I've felt closer to Heavenly Father and more in tune with his plan. It's been since I went there that I've felt the urge to have more children. My husband isn't where I am as far as that goes so it's up in the air right now as to if I can convince him or not, but there has been prayer. I now realize that all those Mormons I used to shake my head at and wonder why they would do that to themselves (even though they always seemed to have no trouble providing for all their children). I didn't want to be the Mormon wife and mother of 5+ children driving the "Mormon Assault Vehicle". I didn't understand what it was that would drive them to it...and now I do. I'm one of those women now. And it's all because I am starting to better understand the larger picture and want to be part of it. I want to have my live blessed by the sweetness that is another baby.
And finally, what also stood out is the quote that the most important work we can accomplish in this life will be done in the home. Raising good, kind, God-fearing children who care for others as much as themselves and show love and concern for all people will change the world, and prepare them with the tools they need to make it back into the presence of our Father in Heaven.