i've been facing some delimas in my work life these days. i've found myself in position to have to place a call to HR regarding a major change to our policy and proceedure, which was not made known to the team. i have felt lately that my department is swirling the drain, and that i've been put in a position to have to be a double agent, pretending to be a confidant to my co-workers but reporting everything i see and hear to the team leaders. i've decided that unless there is a major issue, i won't do it. not at all. it's just against my beliefs to behave in such a way. and now that this major change has taken place, which will affect our department's payouts, i had no choice but to get HR involved.
i'm afraid of reprocussions but i just didn't have a choice in the matter. so i called my employee relations rep, and faxed her a copy of the old P&P and a new P&P so that she can compare the two. now, this leads to my next issue. i confided in a person who i've considered a good friend, and someone who i could trust. but today i spoke to a co-worker who said that a conversation that she and i had on the way into the building on tuesday was reported to her team leader by my friend. it was said that she was talking negatively about the department (which we weren't) and i never expected that from her. now i have to wonder if i'll be having the same conversation with my teamleader when he comes back from PTO on monday. i wonder how much of my other conversations with her were repeated and how much i can actually trust her. the worse my department gets, the fewer people i can confide in and the lonelier it is. the more depressed i become. the more it interfers with my personal life, and my callings. the more i pray that another job within the company will present itself so that i can get off the ship with the rats before it goes down.