Great and terrible day

Today I was planning on writing a post about 1st Nephi, ch 17 which was wonderful. the boys and i read it at the end of our family home evening. but i checked my email before that, and heard about the passing of President Gordon B. Hinckley yesterday. It is both a great and terrible day today.
it is interesting that he passed on Sunday, the Lord's day of rest. He went to his rest after having lived a good life, and leading this church for many years. he is the only Prophet that i have ever known during my time as a member of the church. it is a great day because he is with his loving wife, friends, and Creator now. his earthly worries and troubles are over. it is terrible because we will grieve our loss. we will miss him and his gentle way. he was quiet, but powerful. the first time i ever heard him speak in real time at a conference talk, i was so overcome by the Spirit that i could hardly breath and felt as though i would pass out. but i made it through, and i knew that he was truly the prophet of God. it is because of that experience that i know that we are in the safe, capable hands of the Apostles and God's work will not skip a beat while the 70, and the 12 do what they need to, to be inspired by Heavenly Father to name the new Prophet. and we will continue to do our work, and we will pray, and we will wait.

Testamony of a father

Today in Sacrament meeting, one of our Brothers gave a talk which shared some letters that his father had written to him while he was out serving a mission in Spain. His father was not a member of the church at the time, but he was serving a mission and had two younger brothers taking institute classes, which his father drove them to. He ended up going into the classes with them after breaking his toe, and no longer being able to walk around the building while he waited. He also had a few spiritual experiences and he knew that the church was true but needed something before he could commit.
This brother started his talk by saying that he normally goes into preparing a talk, hoping that he will reach someone in the crowd but always comes out knowing that it was he that needed to be reached by the topic. Well, today he reached me. And as I sat in the meeting, weeping uncontrollably and clutching my sons close to me, I felt so much joy! I realized that Heavenly Father was answering my prayers in this talk. I realized that this child that sat next to me (my oldest child), long and awkward, was sent here to save me and his father. He led me to search for God when I was still carrying him in my womb, and I realized today that when he goes out and serves his mission, that he may well be the catalyst that finally brings his father into the church. And that is my greatest wish and prayer.

Gospel principals lesson 3

Have you missed me? Well, here are a few cutie baby photos to make up for my long absence.

Anyway, today i read over chapter 3 Jesus Christ, our chosen leader and savior. And just as i was typing this, i realized that "chosen" is not a word that our leaders used by accident or coincidence. We had a council in Heaven to decide how to set plan our next step in our goal to become like our Heavenly Father. In this council, we had two of our brothers come forward and volunteer for the job. We listened to the plans that each presented and by a majority vote, we "chose" Jesus to be our Savior. We chose him. i never thought about it like that before.
In my previous life as a Protestant, (and i still don't know exactly what that means), I sort of thought of my salvation as "out of my hands" and felt more like i was along for the ride. then i found the church and i learned that i was a willing participant in my salvation. i agreed with my Heavenly Father that i needed to grow more, and couldn't do so unless i left his presence. (i tell my students every time i get the chance that this life is like going off to college.) i know now that i casted my vote for Jesus to come and pave the way for me to return to my heavenly father. i know now that he is literally my big brother, and having two son's of my own (and watching them interact with each other), i have been able to see the sibling relationship in person and i know now that there is nothing that my oldest son wouldn't do for his brother. that is how much Jesus loves me and why he was able to go through everything he went through, for me.
i say again, that if we are here on earth right now, then we know that we chose for Jesus to be our savior and we sided with the Lord when the War in Heaven broke out. we know that we made the right choice once. we just have to trust in the Holy Spirit to guide us to continue making the right choices.

PS-
thank you for the comment, Chloe. i haven't been able to reach you, or post a comment on your blog and i hope that you'll email me with your email address so i can keep in touch.

Home teaching and Priesthood blessings

It's been a long time since I've felt inspired to write on this site. The holiday season is in full steam and my Christmas knitting is my priority right now. But this week we've been hit by illness in the form of the cold and the boys are sick. Baby Boy is the worst right now and I took the day out of work to take him up to see his doctor because he's been running a low grade fever and coughing so hard that he made himself vomit. I prayed today that I could get him in for an appointment and that he would be okay. I prayed that I could get him into the car without falling on the several inches thick sheet of ice that flanked both sides of my car. I prayed that I would be sure footed taking him from the car into the doctor's office. Then after we had him fully worked over and they said that he would probably be fine and sent us on our way, I went home and called my Home Teacher. Usually my first thought is to call the missionaries but I just felt that I should call my home teacher and I called Brother Mack. He was home, and came right over, alone as he couldn't reach his companion, but he came just the same. He gave a blessing for the sick to both boys, The Boy first, followed by BB who was feeling better before Brother Mack could finish the blessing and was already squirming to get down off my lap for the first time in 48 hours and run the house. I've never seen a blessing work so quickly! It was wonderful to have that time with him to cuddle and sooth him, but it was more wonderful to have him running and trying to push his big brother around.
Brother Mack is a High Priest as well as a 70, so I knew that his blessing would be special for both. And I know that he loves us because every time he sees the boys, he's never without something special for them. Today he brought over candy bars for the boys, but usually he gives BB a match box car. He even left us a lesson to use for FHE today about the 17 points of the true church. I'm truly thankful for him and how much he cares and shows that love and concern for us. It's an example to me on how to perform my own Visiting Teaching calling. I've lost track of one of my sisters. I should say that all 3 of my sisters are inactive and 2 are hard to visit for reasons of lack of family support. One I work with and see at work. She deals with depression and has long stretches of time where she's hardly able to leave her home. I finally got her out for dinner with a mutual friend last Tuesday and it was wonderful. I'm glad I didn't give up. The other I catch at her jobs, but I haven't been able to find her there lately. Her number isn't the same and her second job closed down so it's gotten tough but I feel very intensely that I need to find her. The third is usually home and wants to get back into the church again. My companion usually calls her and takes her to the enrichment activities that I can't ever go to. We're a motley pair of teachers but we keep trying. I have to say that I've never been successful as a visiting teacher and this coming year, I'm going to try harder to be the difference maker in my sister's opinion of the church and how much we all care.

Happy Thanksgiving

Just wanted to say Happy Turkey Day to all, and say that I'm thankful for my health, my family, and my testimony. It carries me through my day-to-day and my calling keeps it fresh. So I guess I'm thankful for my calling as well. Hope you day is full of things to be thankful for.

Be Still My Soul

Today was truly a challenge. I spent the better part of my day trying to work through my mounting frustration with my bosses, and the branches who support us. I really struggled with my mounting urge to hit something. I'm just having a really hard time with dealing with a team leader who acts in a totally different manor when my team leader is around, than she does when he's gone, and I don't like the treatment she gives to our team when our leader is away. I was so angry that I barely made it out without bursting into tears.
BB is working right into the terrible two's and I'm very grateful for one of my LDS knitting blog friends. She posted a link to a page of a man who writes extremely well on many topics, including how to train children to behave in sacrament meeting. Well, I've had to employ the tactics that he recommended now, several times. Today, BB had a raging fit, and I had to hold him until he calmed down which wasn't for about 15 minutes. He cried and struggled, and raged, and so on. I tried to stay calm and kiss his forehead and tell him that when he calmed down, he'd get down. I really started to think that we were at a stand still, but just then I started to hum my favorite hymn, "Be Still My Soul". It amazes me sometimes, the power of a simple hymn, but doesn't it say somewhere that a hymn is a prayer in song? I hadn't finished the first verse before he finally settled down, and I was able to put down a contented happy baby. What simple, powerful message it is that is contained in that song, that was able to calm a small child so quickly.

1 Nephi, ch 16

Just a little blast from the past. I remember waking up after a particularly difficult night where I had to take Baby Boy down stairs and hand him to his daddy... It's hard to believe now that he was ever that size.
But down to business! Today for FHE, The Boy and I walked with BB down to the library and turned in some stuff, and took more stuff out. We came home and ate dinner, and then read 1 Nephi, chapter 16. It was nice to be back in the action after so much prophecy stuff.
So the family picks up and moves on in the wilderness with the Liahona to guide them. I didn't remember this the first time I read it over, but when TB and I got to the part where Nephi breaks his bow and they go hungry for a day or so, we were truly shocked to see that even Lehi started to complain against God, and only Nephi stays true and faithful at that time. It's a dark time for him. His brothers and brothers-in-law are complaining and his wife, and her sisters are trying to get them to go back. Ismael dies during this tough time and it's almost too much for his daughters to bare at that time. They are alone, other than their husbands, and siblings, with no friends and no modern conveniences and they're hungry. Now they've lost their father and the grief must be more than they can take. It's at this time that Nephi calls on his faith to talk to his father and the rest to call them to repentance. They discover the "secret" of the Liahona, where as it will only work as long as they have faith, and then only to the degree of that faith. Lehi asked forgiveness of the Lord, and was chastised by the voice of God. Afterwards, Nephi makes a new bow and asks the Lord where to go to find animals to hunt. Then he goes back to camp with plenty of food, everyone is happy again, and all is well... for a while.
This is a running theme in the early chapters of the BofM. Laman and Lemuel started to work up the sons of Ishmael. They tell them how they should kill Lehi and Nephi, and go back to Jerusalem. They deny the spiritual experiences that they have had in the past. They hear the voice of God and they see an angel, but they ignore all that over their hurt pride that their little brother is the ruler over them. Keep in mind here that the sons of Ishmael have not had these experiences. They have be going on pure faith and trust in the will of their own father, so when the brothers of Nephi start up with these lies, they naturally fall in. Their brothers-on-law try to paint a picture that Nephi is leading them out into the wilderness to set himself up as a king over them. It's at this time that the Lord takes over, and squashes their plans. "The Lord came and did speak many words unto them, and did chasten them exceedingly" After this, the repent and the Lord blesses them again with food. This won't be the last time that they ignore all the personal interactions with God and try to go against his will. Kind of makes you wonder what it is in a person that can make them deny the truth so much, even when it's right there in their faces.