In my lesson this week we covered Family Responsibility. I really liked the very first line in the chapter...that we all have a purpose in our family. We all have a roll, and we all are placed in our family for a specific reason. Heavenly Father organized it all before we came here, and I know that my children are here for a purpose. When I was young, I always knew that I was here for a reason, because my mother was pregnant with twins and lost my twin, but I made it full term. I'm the only child she was ever able to carry full term, and for that reason alone, I knew I had something that I was meant to do. Now I know that it's more than that. I also know that I was put in my family for a reason, and that we were meant to be close, but due to free will, that didn't happen.
Anyway, we had a small group in class yesterday. All ladies so we were able to focus on the women's roll in the family. I have to say that I love my class and I love teaching it, and there's only been one week that I was asked a question that I didn't feel qualified to answer. I've been in the trenches in my personal life many times so when I talk to the people, I can speak from experience.
One of the girls was talking about how she was worried that her kids were acting up in Sacrament meeting (although I hardly noticed they were there) and I told her that it's definitely not only her children and that the best thing to do is to keep bringing them, and they'll learn what's expected of them and find that they enjoy it. We were also able to talk about how many times we find ourselves having to fulfill both the mother's and father's roll in our lives. She is a single mother of 2 and is expecting another in a few months. She is a sweet girl and I really love her. I just want to take her under my wing and tell her everything that I've been through that she's going through right now, and how she's doing a wonderful thing for herself and her children by taking this step.
We talked about how the church is structured so that there is a male presence in her children's lives if their father can't or won't provide one. We talked about home teachers, and missionaries, and young men's, and scouting so that she would have peace that her son will have positive male roll models in his life. I know that one of the biggest reasons that I joined the church in the beginning was because of it's focus on the family, and because of how much of a support it had for single mothers. No other church I've ever been to cares so much for it's members, or had more members actually living their values during the week and not just on Sundays. We also talked about what our rolls are, and that it's so hard to be both father and mother because we're not made for that roll. It's not part of the natural order of things and so it's a struggle every second. It's another example of why we're commanded to only have sex with our husband or wife, because it was meant to bring children into the world, and we were meant to share the duties of bringing up those children.
Fathers are providers by nature. They are meant to spend separate time with each child and form a loving bond with them. Mothers are nurturers. We are meant to provide emotional security for our children and teach them how to create a loving home. It's so because this is the way we were designed. Heavenly Father created us to be two halves of one whole and to work together. It's just too hard for a father or a mother to do it alone. And if we do our best to fulfill our rolls in our families, we will be blessed to be a part of that family for all eternity.